Facing the Holiday Blues Holidays mark a special season that most people look forward to with sweet anticipation. They wait all year to see the cheerful faces of loved ones gathered together, sharing a brief reprieve from the busy workaday world. Unfortunately, the holidays can also bring on feelings of depression in many people. Feelings of intense loneliness can replace those of joy, and instead of looking froward to the arrival of the holidays, many people may actually dread them. The holiday blues can be attributed to many things. Perhaps a loved one is missing, or you are separated from family and friends in a new community far from home. Or perhaps you find the holiday season very stressful due to added responsibilities. The normal stresses of job and home life are greatly intensified by the pressures of shopping, decorating, spending, entertaining and so forth. The important thing to realize is that emotional pain and stress experienced during the holidays are not uncommon, and can be relieved. The following insights to holiday stress include suggestions on how to reduce stress and anxiety. Let's Look At Stress Stress experienced during the holidays is often due to our own unrealistic expectations. It is not possible to accomplish all things in heroic proportions. If we expect ourselves to be all things to all people, regardless of the physical, mental and financial strain it places upon us, we will fall short of the demands we place on ourselves. Is it feasible to hold down a full-time job while maintaining a busy household? Out of town guests arrive, children come home and bring friends, fancy meals are turned out one after the other. Every year at this time the shopping alone becomes a full-time job. We have to find the perfect gift for everyone. And then, to top it all off, we try to write personal messages in every card we send. Does this sound familiar? Aside from busy schedules at home, the holidays also pressure us to make up for the lack of time we have to spend with family and friends during the year. We feel we have to share quality time with everyone. We also feel pressured to give gifts that we may not even be able to afford. Mothers and fathers worry about how to stretch the budget to cover a multitude of added expenses. To compensate, parents may decide to volunteer for overtime at the office and then can't be home as much as the family would like. It becomes a vicious circle, and nobody comes out ahead of the game. Meanwhile, our stress level is growing by leaps and bounds. Anytime we add extra responsibilities to a busy schedule, without adjusting it accordingly, we are adding to our stress. It becomes increasingly difficult to feel well or happy, to think clearly or make appropriate decisions. When we start to feel out of control it is time for some clearly defined coping strategies. What You Can Do To Cope With The Blues Face your blues, don't deny them. Don't take it as a personal defect that not everything seems to be coming up roses for you. You are not alone. Though everyone talks about spreading good cheer at the holidays, the fact is that a lot of people feel a bit short on cheer just like yourself. If you dread the loneliness of special days because family and friends will be missing, don't be alone. Reach out to others who may need companionship. Invite someone else to join you. If struggling with the realities of a tight budget is getting to you, again, you are not alone. Don't go overboard and then live in dread of the bills coming due. Be honest with yourself and your loved ones. There is no shame in doing only what you can afford. A gift of love doesn't have a price tag. Finally, if you feel tense whenever you think of all there is to do in preparation for the holidays, sit down and have a heart-to-heart with yourself. Start by setting priorities! What is important to you? Once you have done that, spend time organizing and planning ahead. Don't leave it all to the last minute. Take Care Of Yourself We are especially vulnerable to illness and accidents when we are overly tired or under excessive stress. Follow sensible health care guidelines that are basic to your well being. Be sure you get enough sleep. Eat sensibly, and avoid excessive sugar, fats and caffeine. Recognize that alcohol, cigarettes, tranquilizers and other drugs increase stress. Build a regular exercise routine into your schedule and stick to it. Make a point of setting aside time for yourself. Recognize that you can make a difference in the way you feel during the holidays. Additional Resources:
Feeling Good, David D. Burns, M.D.
Written by: Helene W. King, Ph.D., CEAP CopeLine is published by COPE, Inc. 1120 G Street NW Suite #550, Washington, DC 20005 (202) 628-5100. 1-800-247-3054
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